You actually get Pancreases

I wish for camels

You actually get trees.

I wish for more time to eat porridge.

You get no time

I wish for someone

You get a mass-murderer.

I wish for some more space to put my porridge.

You get a porridge sized house

I wish for world peace

You do, but since everyone is good Santa closed down his workshop.

I wish for more people to share my porridge with.

You get someone who ate all your porridge.

I wish for sanity

You become sane, but they still won't let you out of the asylum.

I wish for enough porridge to share with the world.

What if the portage was ALL poisoned.
I wish to be half cat.

You become halfcat, but then you get chased by wolves.

I want to be a Unicorn..

You become a unicorn, but army men kill you.

I wish I was a wish that couldnt be wished

You were granted.

I wish I could give porridge to everyone.

You do, but everyone throws it out.

I wish that cyrus would post

Cyrus does, but he chides you instead.

I wish that my dead dog would come back alive again.

YOu dog becomes a small chuwowah

I wish for compassion

Your compassion comes in the form of your mother compassionately announcing that she's going to find a new mate.

I wish I could download Unity Web Player right this instance.

You wish is granted, but it is taken away a second later.
I wish my wishes weren't granted.

Your wishes aren't granted, because no one likes you.

I wish someone would eat me.

Wish granted, but you are defecated out whole.
I wish I ate Anorak.

Wish granted, but you obtain a girl reproductive organ behind your boy reproductive organ, and Anorak comes out through that.

I wish I liked cake icing...

Your wish is granted. You love cake icing and eat it everyday then get fat, so fat that you fall down the stairs and brake you neck.
I wish to be in the anime world

Granted, you get erased out

I wish to be human

You are human, but you have no limbs and you can not taste or smell.

I wish to be able to teleport.

Sure, you're granted the ability to teleport. However, the first time you teleported, you teleport inside a completely solid object and get stuck eternally.

I wish I had some chocolate in my hand.

(wouldn't I just be able to teleport out of it -_-)
You now have chocolate, but it is made of rubber, keep out of reach of children, may cause choking.