I wanna join the boys

The boys who made me feel
Like I was the strongest
When I was in the weakest

I wanna join the girls

The girls who made me feel
So beautiful even with
A beat up face still smiling

I wanna join the ones

The ones who I dreamed
Of being every night
Before the nightmares came along

I wanna join the smiles

The smiles I saw that
Disappeared before
Though saying goodbye
In the most safest way

I wanna join my family

My family I never knew
So I can see for myself
How great the were

I wanna join my fantasies

The fantasies that slipped
Away from my grasp
No matter how closed
They seemed to be

But I can't.